 I don’t blame you for the things you’ve done,
no I don’t blame you for a single one. You weren’t yourself when you did those things, the person I know loves, hugs, and sings, she’s good, she sacrifices, and she cares, she’s not the cruel words and rage-filled stares. I didn’t understand why you would be so hurtful, we seemed to be living in a vicious circle, one that never seemed to end, going around and around, again and again. There’s an anger inside you, a resentment that nothing can cut through. You lash out, full of unhealthy emotion, your anger a volcanic explosion. Living with you is like living in a minefield without any armor, no helmet or shield, never knowing what would set you off, wondering when there’d be a standoff. I learned to be quiet and invisible, to my heart, emotions weren’t admissible. I learned to be the opposite of you, I can control my emotions the way you wouldn’t do. I refuse to allow anything or anyone to anger me, I strive to be emotionally stable, because you could never be. I hold no anger towards you, though I find resentment still sneaks through, for the mental anguish and the damaging of our young intellects, the road is hell where anger and untreated mental illness intersect. Now that I’m older, I can understand why you are the way you are, for you bear your own childhood’s traumas and scars, the resentments, the hurts, the insecurities, you carry around your own impurities imposed upon you by those who hurt you. But when will this cycle be through? No, I don’t blame you for the things you do, instead I choose to forgive and love you, but vow to not be like you, to end this cycle that is generational. No more anger or vitriolic words, no untrusting heart that is confrontational. Peace, gentleness, and kindness are the only ways forward, there’s no going backward, for the sake of body and spirit, there’s a way out and we should not fear it. ~ By Liz Austin 2018
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 Trapped in between walls made of stone,
in solitary confinement, left all alone, left to contemplate my life, sins, and actions, when life is constricted to a cell there are no distractions. Some say I just snapped, others that I’m insane, but all I was trying to do was kill the pain. For years I lived in torment and in fear, lived through the yelling and the tears, the broken bones and the bruises, in life like this, a girl always loses her dignity, her strength, her will. It was the pain I was trying to kill. Suffering in silence, living in quiet shame, only I knew where to lay the blame. One late night I had a long talk with God, I read his words, how he used a staff and a rod. “Vengeance is mine”, I took it to heart, that powerful line. I only wanted to break the chain, I just wanted to kill the pain. He came home the next night, he was raging mad and looking for a fight. He had no idea what he was in for when he came barreling through the door. Nothing to lose and freedom to gain, All I wanted to do was kill the pain. He lay there motionless on the floor, I felt I had finally settled the score. They found me with the Magnum in my hand, I had already taken my stand. They asked why I done it, they asked me to explain, I told them that I had finally killed the pain….. ~ By Liz Austin 2018  The trouble with a dog is that he always wants more.
Give him a bone, throw him a ball, but in return, he’ll give you his all. The trouble with a dog is that he wants constant love. Lots of rubbing and petting is what he needs, but in return, your feelings he learns to read. Yes, he’ll know when to comfort and when to cheer, A dog who loves you is always near. The trouble with a dog is that he costs so much. Vet bills, food bills, beds, and toys, but my how he fills your life with joy. The trouble with a dog is that he doesn’t live forever. He moves into your life and your heart, you fall madly in love right from the start, but a time will come far too soon that will leave your heart in a state of gloom. The trouble with dogs is that forever still wouldn’t be enough. Love and loyalty, adventures and fun, late night snuggles and playing under the sun, furry hugs and sloppy kisses, those are the things that one misses. The best thing about a dog is that his love and memories last, though the years seem to go by awfully fast. He’s certainly worth the heartbreak later on, You’ll cherish your time with him long after he’s gone. So love him and cherish him while he’s still here, play and have fun without any fear, kiss, snuggle, pet, and love your furry angel sent from above. ~ Liz Austin 2018  Once again, he was down in front,
up close and would take the brunt of whatever danger handed him, willing to risk life and limb. This was the way they worked, where ever danger lurked, him up close, her at a distance, it usually worked in every instance. They used each other’s strengths, and would go to great lengths to protect each other and come out on top, and would stand their ground ‘til the last shot. He was up close, good at the draw, he handled his pistols without a flaw. She was at a distance, usually up high, sharp shooter with a rifle and quick as a sigh. Together they were a powerful force, of people’s awe, they were the source. Who knew a man and woman could work so well together? That they could navigate the dangers and all kinds of stormy weather. Partners against the foe, traveling to new places, two of a kind, no doubt a pair of aces. ~ Liz Austin 2018 |
AuthorBorn and raised in Upstate NY, Liz is a freelance writer. She has written for websites, blogs, and magazines for the last 10 years. She also acts as a proofreader and beta reader for several authors, all the while working on her first book. Archives
August 2020
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